Back to me

I read something that reminded me who I was. The scariest part is that it was right, I was alone, sitting on that bench, thinking, feeling my own feelings, dreaming my dreams. That writing told me I’m not me anymore, I see inspiring blue water getting bluer and bluer on my memory, I could feel the wind, I can remember taking a deep breath and entering the water. But it was not water, it was life. That reflection, the ideas of the words I kept reading.. they were all mine. They were me.
Could not believe how dreamy I was, I could feel my own pain, it reminded how much I am able to love. That love that it is not here anymore, life and nature and music and the smell of the grass… all forgotten, all left behind at some point, giving space to other things, things there were not important, or things that were not permanently important. How come I left all behind? The inspiration profound in my heart… all gone. All past.
I read something that made me realize I cannot go back, what I want not always I can have. And what were all those things, who are those people? By the way, who was that woman with those thoughts, with all those dreams?
Something there is me but no feelings accepted. I read that and saw the expectation of the life I have today, didn’t realize at the moment that all I wanted was the change. Inevitable transformation, I liked it or not, the pain won’t come back, I’m harder now, like a rock in the middle of the see, you might think I’ll break apart but I’m still standing. Alone and cold and beautiful and inspiring and causing all those questions about the inside. How come I get to be what I always wanted and finally not recognize myself anymore?
So many of my selves and so little of my truly me. Cannot persist on who I’m not anymore.
I’m back, step by step, confusing and strange, just like my heart, just like my smile, just like my thoughts and my words and my world.

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Don’t think, feel it!

feelthefear

It doesn’t matter how hard you try, probably, is not gonna work.

It doesn’t matter if all you can see now it’s colorful, the sky is getting dark and I have to tell you, even if you wasn’t feeling like hugging her the last time, you’ll gonna miss that moment.

She’s right there in front of you, your fingers can touch her, but not your words, you just can’t mess with her thoughts. Did you notice that everytime that you have an answer to her not-questioned doubts, she runs and changes her mind? She’s gone again.

How many times did you almost tell her how important she is, but the fear shuts you? Maybe she reads in your eyes, but the doubt stills there, so, what you’re gonna do?

It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t planned, the fact is: it’s real and the time is not waiting for you anymore.

Don’t think, feel it! Don’t think, feel!

Go ahead and tell her that it doesn’t matter where your thoughts are or how is gonna be in the future, today, she’s everything you want.

PS: Dear readers, please tell me about grammatical mistakes.