Back to me

I read something that reminded me who I was. The scariest part is that it was right, I was alone, sitting on that bench, thinking, feeling my own feelings, dreaming my dreams. That writing told me I’m not me anymore, I see inspiring blue water getting bluer and bluer on my memory, I could feel the wind, I can remember taking a deep breath and entering the water. But it was not water, it was life. That reflection, the ideas of the words I kept reading.. they were all mine. They were me.
Could not believe how dreamy I was, I could feel my own pain, it reminded how much I am able to love. That love that it is not here anymore, life and nature and music and the smell of the grass… all forgotten, all left behind at some point, giving space to other things, things there were not important, or things that were not permanently important. How come I left all behind? The inspiration profound in my heart… all gone. All past.
I read something that made me realize I cannot go back, what I want not always I can have. And what were all those things, who are those people? By the way, who was that woman with those thoughts, with all those dreams?
Something there is me but no feelings accepted. I read that and saw the expectation of the life I have today, didn’t realize at the moment that all I wanted was the change. Inevitable transformation, I liked it or not, the pain won’t come back, I’m harder now, like a rock in the middle of the see, you might think I’ll break apart but I’m still standing. Alone and cold and beautiful and inspiring and causing all those questions about the inside. How come I get to be what I always wanted and finally not recognize myself anymore?
So many of my selves and so little of my truly me. Cannot persist on who I’m not anymore.
I’m back, step by step, confusing and strange, just like my heart, just like my smile, just like my thoughts and my words and my world.

Anúncios

Ela..

Mozi

Os dedos percorreram minha testa, lá estavam as esquecidas gotas de suor, a ansiedade, senti em forma de asas dentro do estômago, lá estava ela novamente, sorrindo para mim com aqueles olhos incríveis e a boca implorando para ser beijada. Não nos conhecemos ontem, o tempo que dura a paixão, teoricamente já passou, então por que ainda sinto como se precisasse abracá-la a todo tempo?

Houve uma época em que pensava que presentes eram extremamente necessários, mas ela fecha os olhos, abre os braços e sente o cheiro do mar comigo, sentindo a mesma paz… Não são necessários presentes, nós temos sintonia.

Ela merece flores, café na cama, jantar à luz do luar e cafuné, ela merece meu bom humor e minha vontade de fazê-la feliz todos os dias, e viagens! Claro, a descoberta de novas culturas, assim como, impressionada fico ao descobrir que é possível amá-la ainda mais.

Meu olhar hipnotiza em um ponto brilhante no céu e é lá minha casa, o esconderijo perfeito para levá-la comigo. Mora comigo no horizonte, mora comigo nas estrelas, dança comigo de pés descalços e ouve meu coração bater, não mais acelerado como costumava ser e sim, calmo, em paz, exatamente como me fazes sentir.

Ela nada mais é que a única pessoa que me faz pensar como a felicidade é constante em minha vida, foi ela que permaneceu, que me faz ter a certeza que não  motivo nenhum para torná-la minha pro resto da vida.